Help for new swinging couples
The number 1 rule in any swinging event, anywhere in the world is that no always means NO!
Everyone knows that anyone can say no to anyone at anytime while swinging. If the person or people told "No" do not stop immediately then they are committing a serious sexual assault and will never be allowed to any reputable swinging events again.
The favourite sexual fantasy of couples is about having sex with other people, happily for everyone more and more people are acting on turning their fantasies into reality, which is great news for the people already in the scene, as all swingers enjoy having new people come and join us. Of course there are several things you should consider before you come and join us in our fun filled lifestyle.
Never try to push or pull a reluctant partner into the swinging lifestyle.
Most people express their fantasies while having sex. To find out if you are boith serious about taking things to the next step you should talk about your fantasies in the cold light of day, if you both decide that you want to make your fantasies a reality, then start of by making contact with swingers on a website such as Swingers in Tenerife. If either one of you decides you are not ready to go further, STOP.
Trying to drag an unsure or reluctant partner to either meet with another couple or single, or taking them to a swingers club or party is unlikely to make them change their minds and there is a high risk that you could cause a relationship breakup.
If you both want to proceed.
Start by talking out and defining exactly what you both want, and what you are happy for your partner to do. Don't go along to your first meeting or party without making sure you have agreed on what you are happy doing, and what things are no go zones.
Maybe you will agree that on your first swinging experience you will be happy for both of you to experience everything except full sex, as long as you both know what the boundaries are, you will have no issues as long as you stick to them.
When you return home after your first experiencence, talk about what happened, and make sure you were both OK with it. Then discuss if you both want to move forward, and check if either of you want to stop.
If you enjoyed yourselves and are both happy to move forward, decide if changes need to be made to your rules of engagement.
Never play outside your agreed boundaries without first discussing it, never try to change your boundaries during a meet, always start the meeting agreeing exactly what is and is not acceptable to your partner.
Warning: We have seen relationships fall apart because people chose to break the agreements they defined .
Never fall in love!
Swinging is all about having NSA sex fun with other swingers. Most swingers are in happy, stable relationships and are looking for casual NSA sex, not love.
Declaring that you have fallen in love with someone who is already ion a relationship is probably going to lose that person as a friend, and put strains on that persons relationship, you could even destroy the other persons marriage.
Swinging is mainly about sex, if you are looking for love sign up with one of the many lonely hearts swingers websites.
Determine which fantasy you both want to fulfil first; it could be to meet a couple, or to meet a single man, try to meet a single girl or go to a swingers club or party.
Each of these choices has a different degree of difficulty, I have listed them in order of ease of achieving
Meeting a single Man.
Meeting single men is by far the easiest meeting for a couple to arrange. About 40% of the members on all swingers contact websites are single men who fantasies about being involved in a three some situation. There are many ways you can meet willing single men, the easiest is to browse the profiles of men seeking couples on a swingers site such as swingersintenerife.com, or to create a profile of your own stating that you are looking for single men.
If you create a profile make sure you explain the type of man you are looking for, explain your boundaries, where you located, where you are willing to travel to meet, define if you want to meet at their home, your home or a neutral place such as a bar.
Couples with a profile asking to meet a single guy on this site can expect dozens of responses every day depending on their location of course. Most of the men who respond will not meet your stated needs - we have discovered in the 20 years we have been building swingers sites that single men are so desperate to meet someone they do not read the whole profile.
To help you with these timewasters we have put a quick response button on the page so that you do not need to compose a lot of rejection letters.
Attending a swingers club or party
There are a few parties held regularly on Tenerife and there are 2 swingers clubs on the island to enjoy.
Before you go to a swingers club or party read all the information about the party or club to make sure that they cater for newcomers, or for your tastes.
Some clubs have themed parties on different nights, so make sure you check that the party you are headed for is what you are looking for.
- Couples only nights - pretty self explanatory, there will only be other couples at the club or party.
- Couples and singles - usually a few couples and many single men, occasionally a few single girls. Most clubs and parties cap the number of single men so that the couples are not swamped.
- Greedy girl nights - each one varies but it couple be a ratio of about 6 greedy girls and as many as 75 men.
- Spa's - much like greedy girls parties with a few ladies and lots of single men, though most have a couples only area where you can get some respite.
Club and Party etiquette is the same as all swinging events if you say No to someone they must leave you alone. If someone continues to bother you after being told no, complain to the management. read the etiquette section to understand more about swinging etiquette
Meeting up with a couple.
This option can be easy, but instead of just finding a guy who the lady finds attractive, you now have 4 people, all of whom need to be happy with the other pair. Be patient and browse through the profiles and only contact couples you both like the look of. Expect some refusals, just because you fancy the couple, it does not mean that the couple will be attracted to both of you!
Start by sending a message if it looks as though the four of you have enough in common to meet. Arrange for all 4 of you to talk on the phone. This is an important step, as you need to eliminate single men pretending to be couples, and partners ( usually husbands but occasionally wives) who are trying to pressureise their partner into swinging by making arrangements to meet without their knowledge.
If possible use a disposible mobile number that you just use for swinging, or you could end up with unwanted calls to your home number. It is important that all 4 of you talk, do not accept excuses that the partner is late home from work, or putting the kids to bed, or nursing a dying family member or is out shagging the local football team, if you are unable to talk to them and the person will not rearrange, the partner probably does not exist, or is unaware of the situation. (making dates like this is an all to common ploy by desperate single men, who have been known to turn up at dates on their own claiming that their partner is ill, but she said it was OK for him to come on his own!). If this happens say good night and warn your friends about the profile name.
Meeting a "Unicorn" (single lady)
Meeting single ladies is by far the most difficult to achieve. Although there are many single women in the scene, they can of course afford to be very choosy about their playmates. Often they tend to form a friendship with a couple and party and visit clubs with them for security. I have known couples search for several years without finding a single girl to join them. If you are looking for a lady to play with as a couple you will often find that wives and husbands play separately at clubs and parties.
Whoever you arrange to meet with remember that although it can be scary or daunting, the other people will usually be as nervous as you.
Avoid getting drunk or drugged up. No one wants to play with people who are not in control of their faculties. One or two drinks to steady the nerves is OK, but throwing up from over indulgence is not going to impress anyone or encourage anyone to play with you..