Swinging Manners

General Swinging Manners

Everyone in the swinging lifestyle wants to be successful as swingers.

It doesn't matter how often, with whom, where, or in what style we swing. One of the nicest things about our lifestyle is that most of us relate to each other with understanding, thoughtfulness, and common courtesy; just as we ourselves wish to be treated. If you employ the following suggestions or adapt them to your own situation, you should become a welcome participant.

Lifestyle Etiquette

Be Polite and Courteous

Everyone prefers to be treated politly and courteously, and in a lifestyle where we are stepping outside the boundaries of what is regarded as normal sexual behaviour many new swingers suffer from insecurities, uncertainties and fears. Showing understanding of these feelings and treating people politely and courteously costs nothing and could be the start of a new friendship.

Be Friendly

Be friendly and polite to everyone you meet, even if they do not match the profile of people you want to swap with or play with. You may find that you share other interests with them, or they may have friends who they could introduce you to who are a match.

Respond To All Invitations

RSVP means please reply to the invitation.

It means you should reply to decline or accept the invitation.

When people are hosting a party they are expending time, effort and money to create an atmosphere where everyone feels safe, relaxed and happy.

For the host it is often a stressful time, and it is made worse if they do not get responses to their invitations. They do not know how many people to cater for which can lead to a lot of wasted food (money)

A host will have a lot less stress if you take 2 minutes to reply and say "Yes please, I will be there" or "I am sorry, I cannot attend"

This continues our theme, replying is simply a case of being polite. Failure to reply is rude and impolite.

Never Go To a Party Empty Handed

When you attend a swingers party at someone's home, check with the hosts if there is something you could take with you.

If they so nothing is required, take something such as flowers or chocolates for the hostess.

If you are paying an entry donation to attend the party then no gift is needed or expected.

Go Prepared for everything

When you attend a house party take whatever you personally are going to need with you. Don't expect the hosts to cater for everything. Carry a small overnight bag with a change of clothes if you intend changing, other items such as lingerie or bathrobe, hairbrush, comb, toothbrush and toothpaste, cologne, wet-wipes, condoms, etc.. If you have been invited to stay over, check if you should take a sleeping bag or blankets and pillows. If a lot of people are crashing for the night check if you should also bring a towel.


A sweaty unwashed body or bad breath is going to terminate your fun before it starts. Very few people enjoy playing with people who have body odour or stink of fast food, beer or cigarettes.

If you have a long journey ask the hosts if you can shower and change on arrival. A long drive and a stop for fast food will undo the shower you took before leaving home.

Respect the Feelings of the other Guests

Be aware that some guests, especially new comers, may not be comfortable in all situations. Watch and talk to your partner, as well as others, to make sure they are relaxed and enjoying themselves.

If you feel uncomfortable, try talking to your partner or the hosts and work out what is bothering you. If it becomes obvious that things are not working out and you decide to leave, remain polite and courteous, tell the host that you are leaving, and explain what is bothering you if you know why.

Don't Be Pushy

A common mistake among new swingers is the idea that all swingers want to play with anyone.

While this may be true in some swingers groups, in most cases swingers will only play with people who they are sexually attracted to.

As newcomers, you should also only play with people who you are attracted to.

If you are interested in playing with someone, let them know by flirting and body language. They will pick up on the signs, they are at the party to play as well. If they are interested they will come and talk to you. Likewise if someone is flirting, winking, touching you, they want you to talk to them.

However you have the option to ignore the invitation. In the swinging scene the most important rule is that no always means NO.

Never ask why if someone says no to you, and you do not need to explain if you tell someone no.

Only Do What Is Fun For You

Never become sexually involved with anybody that you are not interested in.

In swinging you are not expected to take part in any activities that you are not comfortable with, or do not arouse you. You are in the swinging lifestyle to enjoy yourself, so only take part in activities you enjoy, with people who are attractive to you.

How, Why and When you should say No

As mentioned before, the main rule in swinging is that no always means NO!

Everyone has the right to say "No" to anyone at anytime and it should be done with a simple "No thank you".

Never try to give an explanation, because the reason why you don't want to play is usually what causes problems and the pain for the other person.

Drugs and Alcohol

Most people in the swinging scene do not use drugs, although many of us are social drinkers.

Having one or two drinks are nice way to help you "relax", however over indulgance may hamper your physical abilities and offend or turn other people off to you.

If you need to drink a lot or take drugs to participate in swinging, we would have to say you are involved in the wrong lifestyle.

Taking drugs, except for Viagra, Cialis & Levitra are not going to improve your performance. You make think you have become a sex god after you take your drugs, but it is an illusion that only you can see.

Use Protection

Each of us is responsible for protecting ourselves as well as our partners. Currently there is an upsurge in sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis, gonorrhoea, aids, yeast infection, etc.., in many countries around the world.

The use of condoms should not offend anybody. If you are asked to use a condom you are not being accused of being unclean, but the person wants to provide you both with protection.

Call Your Hosts To Say Thank You

These days when communications are easier than at any time in the past, many people seem to have lost their manners.

It is simple good manners to either call or write to thank the hosts for their hospitality.

If you are hosting a party

When you are arranging a party yuou focus on getting everything ready: Preparing the food, setting out the drinks and glasses, making the beds with clean linens, putting clean towels in the bathrooms etc.

But to be a good host you still have a few more tasks to do before you relax and have fun.

Unless all the guests are people who have been to a party in your home before you should be prepared to greet them, show them where they can wash, give them a tour of the facilities and introduce them to some of the other guests, making sure that they are comfortable.

Have fun and Enjoy Yourself

The most important part of being a swinger is that you have a good time, live out your fantasies with people who share the same, explore your sexuality and enjoy everything the swinging lifestyle has to offer with enthusiasm, and a positive attitude.

Answering Contact Ads

We are all guilty of occasionally being slow to respond to ads. Most of us have day jobs, so we do not check our emails or contact ads sites every day.

You should try to log on to your accounts at least once a week and to reply to the people who have taken the time to write to you.

You should also write to everyone who writes to you, even if it is just a quick note saying something like "I am sorry, but you do not match the requirements in my profile. I do not wish to meet you at this time."

We specify in our profile that we are not interested in, and will not respond to people more that 100kms from our home, and we are not interested in single men over 45.

People should not expect a response if they ignore the instructions in a profile.